Fig. 1 — Anabolic Response · PizzaGenics Labs 2020
The answer was not fat adaptation. It was not intermittent fasting or carb cycling or blood type dieting or drinking celery juice at dawn while thinking about your mitochondria.
The answer had been sitting in a cardboard box on our doorsteps for decades.
PIZZAGENICS is the product of three years of intensive research, a Ph.D. completed at significant personal expense, and the gradual, humbling realization that when mozzarella is subjected to high-heat baking in the presence of a properly calibrated PizzaGenic crust, the resulting Cheese-Derived Metabolic Units (CDMUs) represent a thermodynamic efficiency previously unknown to conventional nutritional science.
You only eat 100 calories but 1,500 appear on your thighs. What is going on? Unlock the secrets of Mozzatosis.
The metabolic state in which mozzarella becomes the body's primary fuel substrate. Where ketosis burns fat in a general, undiscriminating way, Mozzatosis burns specifically the fat content of mozzarella cheese, converting it into CDMUs. CDMUs are, by virtually every measure we have applied, exceptional.
Conventional amino acid science recognizes twenty standard amino acids. PizzaGenic biochemistry recognizes twenty-eight. The additional eight — including Mozzaline (Pzaa-1), Crustidine (Pzaa-2), and the controversial Boxanol (Pzaa-8) — are present only in the specific molecular matrix created by high-heat pizza baking. They cannot be obtained from a salad.
Mozzarone's interaction with androgen receptor sites in skeletal muscle tissue produces a measurable anabolic response superior to any taco-based intervention studied to date. The Sacred Window extends from immediately post-workout to approximately the moment the delivery app says the pizza will arrive. Do not shower first.
J. Chapman, Ph.D., M.P.S. is the founder and Chief Science Officer of PizzaGenics Labs, the world's leading applied pizza research institution. He holds a doctorate in PizzaGenic Sciences and a Master of PizzaGenic Sciences from the Naples Online Division.
He is the author of The Glutenizing Hormones (PizzaGenics Labs Press, 2019) and has published extensively in The PizzaGenic Review, The Journal of Applied Cheesology, and the Journal of Applied Pizza Research. He is a founding member of the Order of the Sacred Slice's modern chapter and the originator of the #CrustyCoaching methodology.
He has never put pineapple on a pizza. He has strong feelings about this.
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